By Shane Bennett
Here’s a fun question: If you could go back in time, based on current knowledge and life experience, what would you tell your 20-year-old self about missions? Maybe as the bus rolls away from a mind-blowing Urbana Student Missions Conference. Maybe sitting around with your small group from Campus Crusade for Christ (yes, that’s what they called it!) Maybe driving home after date number three with that guy who seems to be God’s gift to women and specifically to you.
What would you say? Would you have warnings to share? Hope to impart? Like my long-time friend pictured above, would you point out, “There will be rattlesnakes on the path! Might as well expect them!”
For some of us, our 20-year-old self is back a ways! For me, it was 1985. For others, the back-in-time update wouldn’t cover such a span. If going back to when you were 20 would be less than 10 years for you, please let me know. I’m serious. If you’re under 30 and reading Missions Catalyst, take eight seconds to click this link and drop me an email telling me your age. This is a small part of an effort to stave off the, perhaps inevitable, process of us writing for people our own age until we all die!
In his immense grace, God has kindly blessed me with a boatload of friends. (More like this boat than this one.) They are smart, articulate, and funny, and most can remember being 20 even if it’s been a while. So I ask them what they’d say to their younger missions self. Before I share their wise responses, it’s only right that I go first.
1. Accept others.
I’d say to young me: “Dude, stop being ‘Judgy McJudgerface!’” I remember with regret some of the dumb things I said about people who had different priorities than I did, particularly when it came to how they spent their money. Of course, this was in part because they had money and I didn’t. Jealousy may possibly have slipped in. In my early missions days, I could have done with a tenth of the judgment and ten times the grace.
Melanie echos that, saying, “I wish I had not wasted time telling people how wrong they are but told them more about how right Jesus is!!” Amen.
2. Listen up.
Several friends would tell their younger selves to relax a little bit and keep learning. To listen more. To ask questions.
Our intrepid editor offers, “I’d probably tell the 20-year-old Marti: Hey, you don’t have to take yourself so seriously. The 50-year-old Marti sometimes needs to be reminded of that, too!”
Lynn says, “I would keep learning and listening to ministry leaders in other countries.”
Pam adds, “Relax, be a learner, and don’t spend so much of your time thinking about what other people are thinking.”
3. Try these practical tips.
Some of my buds are crazy practical. I wonder how life would be different had I known these people and learned from them 35 years ago.
More than one bud said they’d tell themselves to take the Perspectives course as soon as possible. That’s a good word.
Jen says, “Beware of student loans!” Indeed!
Matt advises young Matt to put away money for retirement!
Dave said, “Keep my mouth shut until Christ’s love fills my heart for the Muslims I am with.”
4. Be intentional.
Jon says he would tell his younger self, “Work hard until age 30 in a high-paying job but live with the spending level of a missionary. Invest every dime over your minimal spending for that decade. By age 30 you’ll be able to serve in ministry the rest of your life and money won’t ever be a worry for the future. You’ll be free to follow however God leads, and your donors will be able to shift their giving directly to ministry projects (they’ll be even happier). Simple.” I’m not sure how simple that is, but crazy smart.
Doug would tell his 20-year-old self, “Find the most fruitful disciple-maker you can find and ask him if you can shadow and assist and learn from him for the next three years. After three years, ask that disciple-maker to help you figure out where to be the most fruitful in God’s kingdom. Unless that disciple-maker tells you otherwise, go to the largest unreached group you can find and take five people with you. The six of you commit to learn the primary heart language and culture and stay there for five years. After the fifth year, ask God what to do next. Rinse and repeat.”
May God raise up thousands who will combine and execute these last two ideas.
5. Keep your priorities straight.
Several friends said they remind their younger selves to keep God first.
Mike says, “Watch over your heart above all things by staying centered on the King.”
Robby adds, “Yield in advance to the Holy Spirit’s direction and empowering in adjustments (repentance) and assignments (good works Father prepared in advance for us).”
Brett says, “Keep the main thing the main thing: loving Jesus and loving people.”
6. Watch out for pitfalls.
Like me and perhaps you, many of my buds have walked some challenging roads in their efforts to see the gospel go where it hasn’t before. For many, there have been rattlesnakes on the path. Some they dodged, others get ‘em. As a result, their advice to their 20-year-old selves is sober and heart-felt.
Fouad says, “Work while there is light for darkness is coming. Put the hand to the plow and never look back.”
Amy offers, “Make sure to marry someone who has a God-placed vision that lines up with yours. Even through all the ups and downs of every marriage, if you share a common vision of why God has you here on earth, it will carry you through stronger than most anything.”
Similarly, a couple of friends would pre-remind themselves to keep their family in mind.
Lois learned to say no to some opportunities when she realized that saying yes to ministry was saying no to her kids.
Brett considered, “As a consultant who mostly worked from home, or traveled for seminars, presentations, and training, I wish I had involved my family in my ministry more. My kids follow Jesus, but I think it would have been so much more enriching to have taken them.”
Tim thoughtfully reminds the younger Tim, “Don’t wish to peer into the future as the things you’ll face will seem too overwhelming if you knew.”
7. Don’t go it alone.
Knowing the road will be fraught with hazards and heartbreak, Barbara says she’d tell herself, “Find your journey-mates or a ‘band of brothers.’ Devote yourselves to caring for and encouraging each other and advance the kingdom together.”
Like someone who knows what he’s talking about, Bret wisely says, “Find a good counselor! Deal with your junk, your family history, and your sinfulness. Find someone you trust and can be honest with. My generation did not do soul work very well. Millennials today are more open to this than we were (thank God!) I have concluded that almost all of us would benefit from going to a counselor as often as we go to a medical doctor! ‘God makes the man, then He makes the ministry.’”
Julie humbly reminds herself, “You’re probably not gonna get it all done by the time you’re 30, more like, you’re not gonna get it all done!” Her husband adds, “Remember there are Kingdom saints who labored before us and saints who will labor after us. Just play the part in God’s generational sweep.” Sad, sober, hopeful words.
Others advised getting in relationship, even submission, to local leaders. It’s easy to think we’re the ones with all the answers. Ethnocentrism is as natural as skin.
Dr. Johnson said, “All theology is contextual, including White theology. And Christianity is not a Western/White religion but a global religion.”
8. Be all in.
Finally, other friends said they’d tell their 20-year-old self to be radical, to be ready to die for the gospel. They’d say to center your coming obedience in a deep love for and from the Father. To focus, like Paul, on laying the foundation where it is not yet.
My dear friend and mentor Greg says from the perspective of his 80 years, “It’s not what you start, it’s what you leave behind. If you can’t finish it, make sure you find some people who can. And keep laughing at your own foibles.”
Amen. Amen.
What would you say?
I can’t tell you how much I’d love to hear what you’d tell your 20-year-old self! Even if you don’t usually respond to requests like this, please take two minutes and share your thoughts here. I’ll link to this page next month so the whole Missions Catalyst community can read them. That link also has the comments that space prevented being included in this article.